2014, in books

I've been an avid reader since I was a little girl.  Books are still some of my most treasured possessions.  When I visit someone's home for the first time, I love to look at their books.  I feel like the books we keep and read are a great expression of our selves, which is one reason I hesitated to publish this post.  It feels like opening the door to a private place and letting everyone in to see who I am.  It's a vulnerable act, but this is who I am.  This was my year in 2014, in books.

 
 

The Land of the Grasshopper Song – Mary Ellicott Arnold and Mabel Reed
A lovely book I picked up in a gift shop during our drive through California’s Redwoods.  It’s the true story of two women from the East Coast, commissioned by the US government to, for lack of better words, culturally colonize the native people in California.  But during their two years in the Land of the Grasshopper Song, these women grew to love the Karok Indians and advocated for their rights.  In the time of the gold rush, they were the only 2 white women around and their humorous tales are a satisfying read for anyone who admires adventurers, who can relate to the hardships and the humor of living cross-culturally, and who appreciates the depth of female friendships.

Women Who Run With the Wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estes
If there is one book I would suggest to any woman, this would be it.  I went through this book slowly with a friend over a couple of years and now that we’re finished, we’ve decided to start over again!  The author uses stories and myths she has collected from around the world to tap into the experiences and psyches of women.  She somehow manages to always find the right words for a feeling or thought you could never describe.  It’s a book I will always treasure and, if I have a girl, will pass on to her.

The Way to Love – Anthony Di Mello
Eric and I slowly work our way through this pocket-size book, packed with depth and insight into what love really means.  We’ll read a chapter once in a while before we fall asleep or together at the breakfast table.  Anthony Di Mello always finds a way to take an old verse to a new level and often the only thing you can do with his wisdom is let it sink in.

The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet – Benjamin Hoff
A splendid explanation of Taoism using one of our favorite childhood characters.  Its simplicity and charm will draw you in quickly and you’ll see the wisdom of becoming more Pooh-like.

The First Muslim – Lesley Hazleton
Zealot – Reza Aslan

An American Agnostic Jewish woman wrote a biography about Mohammed, the Muslim Prophet, and an Iranian American man who grew up Muslim, converted to Christianity in his teens, and now calls himself simply a follower of Jesus wrote a biography about the savior to Christians.  I had to read these books back-to-back and it was a fascinating comparison.  Both writers are compelling and place their subjects in historical context, shedding new light on their lives that is often unconsidered and overlooked by their followers and skeptics.  I highly recommend both of these books to anyone interested in religion and its relevance to our times.

In the Body of the World – Eve Ensler
Eve Ensler doesn’t tell us how our bodies, particularly as women, are connected with our Earth – she makes us feel it deep inside as she takes us on the journey of her cancer treatments and with the women of Eastern Congo.   It’s a quick read, but you’ll often want to put the book down and just feel her words and cry or laugh with her on her journey.

Strength to Love – Martin Luther King Jr.
Coretta Scott King has said people tell her that this book, of all of the books written by or about MLK, has changed their life the most.  It’s a compilation of some of King's best sermons and Eric and I have both marked up the whole book, underlining powerful quote after powerful quote.

Black Elk Speaks – John G. Neihardt
A classic of Native American spirituality, I found this biography of Black Elk, a Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux, simply fascinating.  The recounting of his life dives deeply into a spirituality our world has largely lost, while also touching on key events in the history of the Sioux.

Trauma Stewardship – Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk
A great read for anyone working in the field of social work who has ever felt burnt out, cynical, tired, or has just lacked inspiration.  You realize that you truly must care for yourself before you can adequately care and advocate for others.

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom – Christiane Northrup
I originally bought this book to refer to from time-to-time, but upon picking it up, I found it too fascinating not to read from cover-to-cover.  I have kept it by my bedside for the last 2 years and was actually sad to finish it.  Northrup takes a very holistic approach to women’s health and has made me love and appreciate my body for the wisdom it gives me, should I choose to listen, rather than wanting my body to look differently and being scared it will somehow rebel against me.  This is another must for any woman and I have given out many copies to friends and family.

Hildegard of Bingen – Matthew Fox
This incredible nun from the 12th century, largely unknown, wrote the first opera of the West 300 years before any other, composed music anticipating Mozart 600 years before his birth, taught methods of healing and medicine that are still used today, and called out kings and religious leaders for hypocrisy, which got her interdicted at the age of 80.  She was a painter, a poet, a musician, a prophetess, a reformer, a mystic, and a healer.  She called for a reverence of nature and our Earth, called science a gift from God, and interwove the feminine into her worship of the Divine.  She is recognized as a saint of the Roman Catholic Church and was recently named a Doctor of the Church in 2012, but, as the author points out, the Catholic Church doesn’t quite know what to do with her teachings that were way ahead of her time, and quite relevant to ours!

Illumination of a Skyrider – Eric Kreutter
I am now officially married to an author.  My husband finished writing a book this year, and has even made significant progress in turning it into a trilogy!  I was honored to be the first to set eyes on the very first draft!  He has managed to use a chicken and a turtle as his main characters in this story to teach us deep life lessons.  It is an outpouring of my husband’s depth and an expression of his truest self, but it’s still a light read and fun to follow along with the journey of Fenix, a chicken trying to find his way in life!

Moving Towards Balance: 8 Weeks of Yoga with Rodney Yee
If you’d love to practice yoga at home, but are like me and think the videos on the market are too cheesy and poorly-made, this is the perfect alternative.  Rodney Yee takes you through 8 weeks of yoga, explaining every pose.  Even if you’ve done yoga for a while, it will help to remind you what each pose should feel like, and you get to go at your own pace!

The Soul of Money – Lynne Twist
I wasn’t excited to read a book about finances, but I was required to for a class I’m taking, and I am so glad it was this book on finances.  Lynne Twist challenges us to evaluate our deepest values and guides us on how to use our money to advance these values in our lives, making us richer in so many ways.

Invitation to Solitude and Silence – Ruth Haley Barton
Solitude and meditation have long been a part of Eastern traditions, but Ruth Haley Barton highlights how Western Christianity has become so frenzied, that we are missing out on the many spiritual, emotional, and physical benefits of solitude and silence.  She makes her points gracefully and provides simple practices after each short reading to pull you into this special invitation.

The Hidden Face of Eve – Nawal El Saadawi
A powerful Egyptian author, all of Nawal El Saadawi’s books have a particular punch to them and this one is no exception.  An overview of her experiences and perspective of women in the Muslim world, it is a compelling read, but one that I could only take in a little at a time due to the severity of the issues she addresses.

A Call to Action – Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter has called this the most important book he’s ever written.  He brings our attention to the plight of women and girls across the world as well as within America, shedding light on issues many would prefer to ignore.  It’s a nice summary of these compelling issues and it’s a relief to read such words from a powerful Western, white man.

More books I read in 2014:

Birthing from Within – Pam England and Rob Horowitz
The Untethered Soul – Michael A. Singer
When the Heart Waits – Sue Monk Kidd
Meeting the Shadow – Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams
Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous Idea – Mark Kurlansky
The Mists of Avalon - Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown
The Garden of Burning Sand – Corban Addison
Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe
The Call of the Wild and White Fang – Jack London
Hobomok – Lydia Maria Child
A Woman’s Book of Life – Joan Borysenko
The Wisdom of the Enneagram – Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
Wisdom of No Escape – Pema Chodron
The Abstinence Teacher – Tom Perrotta
Wise Women – Susan Cahill
Devotions: Wisdom from the Cradle of Civilization – Danielle and Oliver Follmi

Audiobooks

Hard Decisions – Hillary Rodham Clinton
The Terrorist’s Son – Zak Ebrahim
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy

Words I'm Contemplating

Reality – My fears are not reality.  Social media and photos in dreamy lighting are not reality. The drama I make up in my head isn’t reality.  Reality is now. Reality is getting up and living life - physically putting my hands into the Earth’s soil, savoring every sip of my latte, listening deeply to someone who is speaking to me.  I want to live more in reality, more in the now.

Giving and receiving – Every hour of the day I close off in one way or another.  I close my heart to others because I’m busy or I’m scared or I have something I don’t want to reveal.  I’ve been meditating on openness, on choosing to open myself to giving what I didn’t think I could give and receiving with grace whatever comes to me.  I want to let life flow through me more and more without clinging to some things and pushing away others.

Abundance, sufficiency, scarcity – I’ve been challenged by a class I’m taking in Conscious Social Change to consider what these words mean to me and how I approach the resources at my disposal.  When do I feel a sense of abundance?  Where does my sense of scarcity come from?  Is this based in reality?  To me, abundance is tied to the ability to dream.

Healing – I’m finding that healing is so multi-faceted - it is not just on one level, but on so many.  Wounds in one area affect all areas.  To truly heal, we must face our bodies, our fears, our identities, our emotions, our beliefs, our habits.  To heal, we must not ignore the wounds and pain, but approach them with tenderness and curiosity.

Peace – Peace is a word always on my mind.  It’s a word around which I plan to revolve my life.  It started with the world and now it’s become about me.  I see the world in myself and I see my inner conflicts played out in the world.  How can I attempt to make peace out there when I have so much work to do in here?

The Peaceful Sunday That Wasn't

My Sunday started off peacefully.  Our good friend, Tyler, came over in the morning and we had our usual Sunday breakfast and a chat together.  When he left, I dreamed of all I'd do with the rest of my day - I wanted to buy some plants for my yard and plant them with help from my dogs.  I wanted to go to the pool for a swim and finish a book and maybe do a meditation.  All the while, I would take pictures of this peacefulness, I thought, and post them on my blog and have people think I'm such a peaceful person.

I had a good start:

When Tyler left, I promptly started my peaceful Sunday, camera-in-tow, and headed off to buy some plants.  I came back with those plants, but the purchasing of them was a not a simple process.  Soon, the annoyance of the purchasing process led to me being angry at the state of our landscaping, which led to the spilling out of frustrations about living cross-culturally, which led to thoughts of where my life was going, which led to questioning my worth.

So my dreamed-of peaceful Sunday turned into one of those days when I found myself on a couch, releasing my stream of consciousness onto Eric, surrounded by snotty wads of tissue, none of which I photographed.

But it didn't end there.  All of this eventually led to a voicing of dreams I had never really let myself acknowledge.  I realized that as I have continued to pursue my own creativity and what brings me joy, I have started dreaming of a new path for myself, one that leads to a possibly smaller, but deeper life, one that nurtures a deeper kind of peace within me rather than one that is technically "doing good," but fuels my righteous anger.  Giving voice to these thoughts was really scary because it could mean a renewal of my outward identity, possible failure, and facing lots of unknowns.

I eventually pulled myself together enough to grab Ethiopian food with my friend, Amber, and after that, I came home and watched a movie.  I didn't go to the pool or meditate.  I never worked in my yard with the dogs and I didn't finish a book.

But that night, I wrote this in my journal: "Isn't it funny how facing your dreams and facing your fears go hand-in-hand?"

Purchased, but unplanted plants

P.S. Today I read this article, which is not only beautiful, but so timely in accordance with my Peaceful Sunday that Wasn't:

There Is No Honest Rest: All The Things I Would Rather Be Than Good

Holy Division

I originally wrote this post for my friend's blog, Worlds in Vignette.  It's a very cool blog that gives you glimpses of a diverse number of experiences from around the world.  I'm very sure you would love it.


I meander the old streets in the City of Peace and I find myself at a viewpoint for the Wailing Wall. I look down at the wailers and at the wall and I see the military checkpoints and the 20-somethings with huge guns, their presence calming some fears and heightening others.

The wailers have divided themselves on this wall – there is a larger portion for men and the women wail on the remaining piece. The Dome of the Rock lies behind, so close in distance, yet so far in unity for the devotees of such places. This city of peace and this land that is holy has been splintered in every imaginable way. The church marking the birth of the Prince of Peace also marks a power struggle between 3 different Christian denominations. Abraham, the father of 3 warring traditions, is buried in Hebron, a city most divided. One side of his tomb is for the controllers and tourists; the other side for the controlled. A wall snakes through this holy land, splitting this place from that and splintering hearts in the process. All is divided, cut apart, separated. All is split.

The holiness of it all fails to find me.

I again observe the wailers and I feel their sorrow working in me. Something wells up in my heart, chokes me as it comes through my throat, and it seeps out from my eyes. My mind tells it to stop, but my body doesn’t listen. Even I am divided within myself.

I’m interrupted by 2 lovers. They want me to take their photo in front of this historical landscape. And for that snapshot moment, the scene in front of me is not one of division.